Hajja Salesjana

Photo by Jessica Rockowitz - Unsplash.com Photo by Hudson Hintze - Unsplash.com Here are the 4 critical questions: 1. Do you see me? 2. Do you care that I’m here? 3. Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way? 4. Can I tell that I’m special to you by the way that you look at me? Whether it’s your kids, your colleagues, your partner, or really anyone in your community, when someone feels genuinely appreciated by you, it’s because you treat them in such a way that affirmatively answers each question pretty consistently. It’s because when you look at them, you actually take the time to see  them.   One reason why some people love dogs so much?  Dogs answer the four questions with a big, “Yes!” near constantly. Those furry little spiritual masters are always in the present moment, so their quality of connection is always heightened (subsequently, so is the level of palpable connection they emit). Unlike our K-9 counterparts, we regularly slip out of the present moment and go somewhere else.  It at least makes more sense when we evade the present moment during ostensibly mundane activities, like an unnecessary meeting, doing laundry, our commute, etc. But invariably, the habit of not being present spills over into the moments we really mean to be present for: • The love of your life walks into the room before bed and you barely look up from your phone. • You meet your best friend for brunch and go through the motions of the hug, the ‘you look so cute’ and the  ‘it took forever to get here!’ without actually feeling much. You’re tying your daughter’s shoe and when you’re done, you get up to reach for her packed lunch and hand it to her while you’re simultaneously grabbing your bag and keys, all without ever looking at her . We all do this. We blaze through darling moments every single day . Sometimes we don’t really remember much about our week because we just weren’t fully there. But how do we answer these questions constantly?  I’m not encouraging intense stare downs with every single human you encounter, but what I do hear so often in my work is this: 29 Ottubru-Diċembru 2023 hajja