Hajja Salesjana

We ask the people we love, we ask the people who matter to us professionally, and on a broader level, we ask the people we encounter as we go about our everyday lives: the cashier who takes your coffee order, the jogging neighbour you wave to from the car on the way to work, the elderly woman sitting across from you on the train. The four questions rarely get asked with words, just as they’re rarely answered with words.  They’re almost always silent questions, because they’re almost always unconscious. When the silent answer to each of the four silent questions is a definitive YES, the love (or basic sense of humanity, in the broader examples) in the relationship becomes more palpable and is in turn immediately felt.  In a romantic context, when the questions go  unanswered , the person unconsciously asking them typically becomes increasingly distant, grows restless in the relationship, and often starts seeking drama and distraction to get attention and feel more alive.   In the broader context, people who don’t get an answer to these questions (or worse, who receive a ‘no’) feel increasingly disconnected fromany sense of community. How to Change Your Life in One Second Flat… The 4 critical questions we’re all unconsciously asking each other near constantly by  Katherine Schafler, NYC-based psychotherapist, writer and speaker. Photo by Peter Thomas - Unsplash.com by Katherine Schafler 28 Ottubru-Diċembru 2023 hajja