Hajja Salesjana July-September 2022

of help. There are, however, a number of kind people who would be willing to spend a couple of hours with your loved one whilst you run errands or catch up with work. Asking for help may also take the form of requesting friends’ prayers, especially when you do not have any energy left to pray. Nevertheless, a quick invocation whilst you are waiting for your turn at the doctor’s can be as precious as the most elaborate of prayers. It is imperative that we guard ourselves against burnout. There are a number of excellent local services. Again, if you are used to being self-sufficient, it might be challenging to overcome the hurdle of picking up the phone to request a service. Nevertheless, services range from getting help with cleaning, to counselling, to having a hairdresser visit the ill loved one at home. It might also be worth explaining the situation to select persons at work. It is astounding what difference small concessions might make. If need be, we Photo by Priscilla Du Preez - www.unsplash.com could consider working reduced hours for a time, or work from home some hours a week. It is important to remind ourselves that our loved ones are often acting out of fear, anger, helplessness, and frustration; it is therefore unwise to take things they do or say personally. Nevertheless, we will make mistakes, including being unkind and snapping at our loved ones when we are feeling overwhelmed. We might miss deadlines and let some people down. During these times, we need to give ourselves the same love that we show our loved ones, remaining patient and compassionate with ourselves even when we do not meet our standards. Frustration is normal. We all need to have a safe space to rage and cry. Should this not be possible with family members, we might want to consider seeking professional help. Finally, it is worth bearing in mind that, despite our fears, we have the resources to deal with the situation, one day at a time. 25 Lulju - Settembru 2022 hajja