Hajja Salesjana April-June 2020

compassionate, and helpful humans than whether they are getting an A. I’m not raising students; I’m raising humans. Call me lazy, but I don’t spend hours drilling my kids on math facts or keeping track of their reading logs. When they get home from school, I don’t ask them about their spelling quiz or how they did on their math test. Instead, I ask them, “Who were you kind to today?” and “Who was kind to you?” These are the things I want to know. Did you make someone smile? Did you make someone laugh? Did you make someone else feel special? These are the hallmarks of a good person, not just a good student. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want my children to fall behind academically, and if they are struggling, I want to know about it so that we all — my husband and me, my child, and his teacher — can do something to help him get on the right track. But aside from that, I am perfectly happy to rest comfortably in the “average” category when it comes to things like grades, the honor roll, and standardized tests. It is the other categories — things like friendship, teamwork, kindness, generosity — where I want them to really excel. Before my oldest son started first grade, I wrote him a letter. In it, I told him three secrets. I told him that superheroes aren’t just in storybooks, but sometimes they are the ones standing in front of the chalkboard each morning. Teachers are superheroes. I also told him that when things get hard — and they most certainly will — almost everything can become just a little easier to handle with a few good, long, deep breaths. And the third secret? Well, that’s the most important one. “You are the magic,” I told him. “You just have to be the best you that you can be.” I reminded him that when he is the best version of himself, when he works hard, when he’s brave and kind, he can grab a handful of that magic and sprinkle it around. We all can. So yes, I want my kids to study and work hard. I don’t want them to struggle in school and I hope they get decent grades, but what I really care about is whether they are spreading magic — kindness, friendship, generosity — into the classroom and the world. If they are doing that, they’re on this highest of honour rolls in my book. 17 H AJJA S ALESJANA Photo: Mi Pham at www.unsplash.com