Hajja Salesjana July September 2018

by Marlene Cauchi D.CounsPsy 20 Indeed, they might snap at you when you try and ask around the issue of friends, school, and going out. They might accuse you of interfering with their lives, and they might roll their eyes when you start ‘preaching’ about the need to be careful with friendships. It is hard not to take all this personally, sometimes, despite knowing that it is part of a regular process, and necessary for your child’s later independence. It might be easier, sometimes, to take a step back and leave the teenager to their devices if it means that things are quieter at home. It might be easier to label them as ungrateful and irritable than trying to understand what might lie beneath the seemingly annoying exterior. On the other hand, such circumstances might fuel resentment towards your child, particularly when they reject your efforts to be close to them. It is worth remembering, however, that this does not mean that teenagers need you any less. Adolescence is a time of rapid change, as much for parents as it is for the teenagers themselves. One might argue that they need you more than ever. So what could help this seemingly impossible impasse in the relationship with your teenager? How could you get to a place where both of you feel heard and understood? Amongst other things, effective communication is key. This happens when both you and your teenager are able to talk about feelings without either of you feeling judged. It happens when you are willing to try and understand what it must be like to go through what your child is speaking about. You can talk about the trivial stuff, but know that you are able to speak about the tough topics when needed. You are convinced about the love and care you have for each other. Barriers to effective communication Whilst you obviously feel responsible for your child and want to protect them from potential threats, it is essential that you allow them to express themselves even when you do not agree. Try to resist the urge to immediately Parents whose children are growing up and entering their teenage years know that teenagers tend to communicate differently as they grow older. They might stop sharing all that took place at school or with friends. You might not be so aware, any more, as to who their close friends are and whether they are really studying when they are in their room. You Don’t Understand!