Hajja Salesjana April June 2018

by Marlene Cauchi D.CounsPsy 20 John has a tendency to take things personally. He is easily offended when criticised. When his wife says to him that the way he spoke to their younger son was too harsh, he is upset. “OK, I won’t tell him anything anymore”,he fumes. These are familiar scenarios. We all know somebody who is highly sensitive. Such people might feel everything very keenly, and when they make a mistake it could stay with them for a long time. A small slight can feel like a wound to highly sensitive persons. They are excellent at remembering details, even though you might only have mentioned it to them once. Indeed, they might be the first to notice any changes in appearance. Such persons could be highly empathic, and they would tend to be hyperaware of other people’s feelings. When someone is angry, they cannot help thinking it must have something to do with them. Additionally, they might make decisions according to what they think other people might want, rather than their own preferences. Imagine how this might affect their being in a romantic relationship. Highly sensitive people (HSP) are normally extremely loving. They put the other person’s needs first. This is quite easy for them, since they are greatly aware of people’s feelings and preferences. Indeed, they might get intimate in a relationship quite quickly, which could leave them rather depleted when the level of intimacy is not shared. A few tips if you are highly sensitive… Highly sensitive people do not tend to have much difficulty identifying their feelings. This is key, as it is more likely to help the person articulate what lies beneath their feeling. Let’s imagine Dorothy, for example. She realises she feels hurt, angry, and resentful whenever her mother keeps mentioning her other daughter’s achievements. It doesn’t take too long for Dorothy to realise that she feels extremely insecure about her own competence and worth, so when her mother brings up Dorothy’s sister’s valuable work in schools, she feels inferior. Her thoughts lead her into a sense Katie gets very upset when her husband’s colleague comments on one of his Facebook posts. She fears something might be going on between them. Her husband assures her that there is absolutely nothing going on, but Katie won’t be convinced. Whenever her husband attends a work event, her anxiety escalates, as she expects her husband to realise that she is not enough for him and leaves her for someone else. She feels silly, and logically knows that she is being unreasonably insecure, but she cannot shake off her fear. When Sensitivity Becomes an Issue....