Hajja Salesjana January March 2018

2 1 minimise the child’s pain or deny the actual distressing event. Instead, try to be reassuring and realistic. Try to model healthy resolution of conflict, rather than the avoidance of it. Another factor is Contribution . It is worth educating children about the fact that the world could be a better place because of their presence within it. Model generosity by serving others and engaging in voluntary work. Communicate the fact that many people do not have what they need in life. Indeed, it would be helpful to create opportunities for children to help others. Learning that they have a contribution to make can provide children with a sense of purpose and meaning. Providing children with boundaries and routine is essential, as it provides them with a sense of Control . Routine helps children understand that most life events are not purely random, and they have some control over the consequences of their actions. This also applies to the way you discipline your children – make discipline about teaching, rather than punishment or control. Further, kids who realise they can direct the outcome of decisions are more likely to respond proactively in face of adverse life situations, as they would know that behaving in particular ways would generate specific consequences. Thus children develop confidence in their ability to recover when bad things happen. This could also be linked with Competence , that is, a person’s feeling that they can handle a situation effectively and appropriately. We can help develop a child’s sense of competence through helping them focus on their strengths and empowering them to make their own decisions. In fact, beware of overprotection, which could give the message that you do not have faith in the child’s ability to carry out essential tasks. Another thing to avoid is to compare children with their siblings and/or other kids, implicitly passing on the message that your children are not good enough. Indeed, try to recognise each individual child’s strengths and abilities. When you do need to draw your kid’s attention to mistakes, try to focus on that which could be improved, rather than labelling the child. This would in turn help improve the child’s Confidence , another one of the seven Cs. Parents and educators need to foster children’s belief in their capabilities through recognition of such qualities as fairness, integrity, persistence, and kindness. It is better to offer honest validation of specific achievements, rather than general praise that may lack authenticity. For example, it is always disconcerting to hear a child being described as the most intelligent or beautiful child in the world; apart from offering very little that the child can work on, it is probably not an accurate reflection of the child’s capabilities. It therefore does not instil genuine confidence in one’s own qualities. In addition, help your child nurture a positive self-view by encouraging conversations about times when they managed difficult situations, and how the skills they learnt will help them in future challenges. The parent’s role in the child’s Character development is essential. As a parent and educator, train your kids to think about, and develop, a sense of right and wrong, together with other important qualities like kindness and