Hajja Salesjana January March 2018

by Marlene Cauchi D.CounsPsy 20 We cannot (and perhaps should not) protect children from life adversities. So what is it that makes some kids more likely to manage such situations? These children are said to be resilient. The good news is that skills for resilience can be learnt. It is worth noting that being resilient does not mean that children will not experience stress and anxiety in face of uncertainty. However, resilient kids would be more able to adapt, manage, and recover, from adversity, threat, and tragedy. Ginsburg and Jablow (2015) suggest seven steps to learning resilience, which are often referred to as the seven Cs. One of the most important factors is Connection . It is imperative that children are allowed to develop at least one stable and committed relationship with a caregiver. This kind of relationship needs to be responsive to the child’s needs, both physically and emotionally. Indeed, it is important to allow expression of all emotions within the home, including anger and sadness. Emotional connection would also provide a buffer against the inevitable disappointments, hurt, and instability within the child’s environment. As a parent, you need to make sure that you provide your child with support and comfort. This will also help develop the child’s ability for empathy and encouragement with their own friends, thus further limiting isolation. You might wish to introduce children to other sources of comfort, whether that is through a higher power, church, and/or wider family. When something bad happens, do not I have often caught myself looking at my young nephews and thinking that they have no idea how good it is to be a child, so free from worry and burdens. Yet, whilst childhood is often idealised in this way, experience shows us that childhood is anything but carefree. Kids need to manage several emotional challenges, from adapting to a new classroom to dealing with bullies, from experiencing parental conflict and sibling rivalry to facing uncertainty and loss. In addition, environmental disasters, wars, and murders might make the world feel like a frightening place sometimes. Whilst some children are able to cope and thrive within these challenges, others might find it harder to adapt. How do we foster resilience in kids?